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監禁少女の歌

わたしはなんにもしらぬまま　ちいさいおへやにとざされた

酷く狭い部屋の筈なのに果てし無く続くぬかるみにも似て
一度踏み込んだらそれなりに居心地がいいと思えた
私を縛るものは鎖じゃない　プライドと、その裏返しの怯え
全て投げ棄てたら今すぐに　ここから出ていけるのに

誰もが本当は私など要らない　それでもあなたにすがっていたんだ
嘘で組み上げた束の間の愛で　私を生かさぬように、殺さぬように

今更どんな顔をして「許して」なんて言えばいいんだろう？
日々嬲られながら、ふと　二度と帰らぬ日々を思った
「もう大丈夫」と嘯いてあなたは私に触れてくるけれど
その声もその指も今は冷たい

いつかは誰もが私を忘れて…それでも私は覚えているんだ
誰一人知らぬ部屋の片隅で　世界の終わりを夢見ていたこと
全ては私の心次第で終わる　悲しい連鎖は切れる　でも出来ない
それはとても簡単な筈なのに　出口は幾つも開いているのに

あの窓は高すぎる
あのドアは遠すぎる

The girl under bondage and discipline

I confined myself by the narrow room, knowing nothing.
It's being a very narrow room,It had feeled by the mud which continues endlessly for me.
Once I entered into it, as it is, comfortableness seemed to be good a little.
It i'not the real chain which binds me,It's pride and the inside-out fear of that.
From here to the ability to come out immediately now, if all are thrown away.

I understood nobody needs me, but I was making you reliance.
Momentary love made with the lie continued binding me in the interval of life and death.

Now, I do what face and should just ask for permit?
while I'm raped every day, and I considered the days which never return again.
You say to me "Already OK", and going to touch me but the voice and finger are too cold like bloodless body.

None will remember my existence some day, even if I can't forget all of you and your way.
I dreamed of the end of all in the corner of the room that none knows.
My mind could change all to be better, and the barren links has been destroyed.
But I could not be.
It was very easy, here was many exit, everything became the past.

There're still windows and doors in this room.
So high, so far...

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